This article is also available in: 🇩🇪Deutsch (German)
Last article update: 05.04.2020
Below, you will find the most complete blueprint about self-love online.
This blueprint will guide you step by step to finally achieve your ultimate self-love and let go of fear. As a result, you will realize that your relationship with the environment, such as the people around you, will be immensely improved.
Note that this article is the most extensive single resource that you can find about self-love, combining my own experiences with a scientific and philosophical approach.
Here are my suggestions:
- Bookmark this page, and come back at any time to continue your reading and practice.
- Make use of the outline below to navigate.
- The definition of self-love
- What is self-love?
- The story of Mahatma Gandhi
- 11 self-love quotes for a deeper understanding
- Why it matters to categorize goals in life
- The end of depressions, burnouts, and panic attacks?
- The impact on our environment and relationships
- 6 self-love books
- 3 meditations to love yourself
- 12 self-love affirmations
- 3 afformations to love yourself
What is self-love all about?
The definition of self-love.
A frequently used definition of self-love is: self-love is the love of the self, and it is one’s own state of well-being and happiness.
Do you beat yourself up over failures? Are you self-critical? Do you think you are not good enough? Do you have to fight for your self-esteem?
To sum up, these questions are exactly the opposite of self-love.
However, self-love can also differ a lot from person to person, because it is one of the most mysterious life experiences that human beings can have. For the same reason, it is important for us to get to the truth of our own self-love and make our own definition for it.
With my life experience, my definition of self-love is a bit different from the frequently used one.
My personal definition of self-love is:
“TRUE FORGIVENESS, UNLIMITED CONFIDENCE and Experiencing the truth behind our mask.”
Self-love is a gateway to true love: at the same time, self-love can be still inside the illusion of the self, but mustn’t.
In conclusion, it is important to remember that self-love mostly is inside the ego construct. The uniqueness of it is that it is a gateway to your higher self and true self. Therefore, we could also understand by self-love that it is the love of the true self.
What is self-love?
Now that we have a general definition of self-love, let’s go deeper into it.
What is self-love in our private, business, and personal life?
In private life, it can be the way we communicate with friends and our family. Especially the communication between ourself and our parents heavily reveals the state of our mindset or the state of our consciousness.
For example, are we kind to each other or do we fight a lot? Are we in contact with each other regularly? How often does our state of consciousness change after we meet with our parents for dinner, over Christmas or, during holidays?
To me at any time and to a serious degree.
It is worthwhile to remind ourselves of one rule in our universe: what we send out will come back, or we get what we give. This rule also applies to self-love. You will read more about this in my personal story later.
Be kind towards yourself and others.
If you’re always kind towards yourself and others, as a result, your self-love is already in good shape.
There might be times that a family member or a friend triggers you out of your comfort zone. The most important thing for you is to be aware of it immediately and reflect on your behavior as quickly as possible, then communicate it between you two.
You could say that;
The quicker we solve communication Problems and fights in our life, the higher your level of awareness is.
Which role does self-love carry here?
The role of self-forgiveness.
We are able to forgive ourself and others immediately, even if we are 100% sure others are “wrong”.
If we love ourself to a certain level, as a result, we don’t care about being right or wrong. The only thing that matters is solving communication problems as quickly as possible for the greater good.
However, nothing from above seems reasonable and true for us. Therefore we start to think:
“Okay, and what about me? This is not how it works for me and I’m only in pain in love relationships and the relationship with myself.”
Then this is a chance, because this full guide will help transform pain into power, self-hate into self-love, and hardships into simple matters.
What is self-love at work?
In business or work, the aspects of self-love are totally different than in our private life.
For most men and women, it’s hard to implement the same level of self-love with everyone at work, and therefore, it can be a real challenge. At the same time, it’s a big chance to improve their self-love.
To clarify self-love to a greater extent, also means: being strong and self-confident, trusting yourself, and being self-aware.
On the other hand, the self is a lot of times hurt by delays of the rule: “You get what you give.”
But wait, didn’t you say we always get what we give and it’s a general rule of the universe?
The illusion of “You get what you give.”
It’s not written in the textbook of the universe at which time we “receive”, because maybe it is 30 years later for what we “give” today or maybe it is 5 minutes later. To see how this rule really works out, smile at someone and receive instant gratification, when that person smiles back.
This is one of the illusions of the self. This is one of the paradoxes that the mind can’t grasp.
In conclusion, not everything we give, comes back right away. Patience is the key and self-love helps immensely. Also, transcending to unconditional love or true love beyond time and self or receiving wisdom about these mystics will help even more.
Firstly in the next chapter “The story of Mahatma Gandhi”, and secondly in my own story, you will understand more about true love.
What is self-love in our personal life?
Let’s keep this one simple. Self-love in our personal life can manifest in our physical experience as one of the following:
- Easy to release fear (quick decision making, stay in the now)
- Being thankful for everything in life. (good and bad).
- Respecting all life forms, no matter how big or small.
- Eating and drinking behavior (maybe no meat and very little to no alcohol). Just an observation in my last 3 years of experiments with myself and friends.
- Some of the food in our society today is not so healthy (chemical) and a good lifestyle of body, mind, and spirit is a great sign of your self-love.
- Not rejecting something in life. Sometimes it’s okay to let our ego go “wild”. That means respecting and loving our ego, too. It doesn’t help to suppress the ego; this hurts the process of self-love a lot more.
We are on the verge of a whole new level of consciousness, collective humanity and some of the above will be self-understood in the near future for 95 – 99% of the population.
The story of Mahatma Gandhi.
Mahatma Gandhi is one of humanity’s great examples of unconditional love. He was a leader of independence, nonviolence, forgiveness, equality between men and women, and hope.
In the book “The Gift of Anger” by Arun Gandhi, are a lot of great examples of how Mahatma Gandhi applied unconditional love in his daily life.
The story of the last moments of Gandhi.
Every evening, Gandhi conducted prayer meetings and did his daily routines. For example, he was very famous for getting up super early in the morning for his meditation practices.
However, this time, it was different!
Gandhi was a revolutionary in Indian nationalism, as they felt too many of the changes happening because of him.
So, in one of thousands of prayer meetings, Godse, a member of the political party, went to see Gandhi. However, he didn’t want to talk to him, like all the others.
Unluckily, he planned an assassination, and it was successful.
What is the surprise of his legend?
Even at the last moments of his life, Gandhi loved the person who killed him. Gandhi was a leader of life itself, and this was the time for him to physically leave his body.
Still today, the Birla House (now Gandhi Smriti) is kind of the sacred place this happened, and until today, it is a well-visited place in New Delhi, India.
I found one highly interesting extract from the book:
“It is easy to love beings that love us but it’s hard to love beings that hate us.”
Mahatma Gandhi was one of the few humans that sub-consciously, consciously and over-consciously acted in this way of unconditional love for everything that exists. This is also known as the supra – or christ consciousness.
For most of us it is hard to understand it fully, because if you haven’t tasted unconditional or even self-love fully, how can we have the wisdom to apply it in our daily life?
If we never ate an apple, how is it possible for us to know the taste of the apple?
As mentioned before, Beyonduality’s mission is to open more mens and women’s heart for these specific topics, not only in a theoretical and philosophical way, also in a practical way of self-empowerment. This is what we call, “A journey to the inner heart.”
11 Self-Love Quotes for a Deeper Understanding
“It is not enough to repeat “I love myself” every day to feel the love. Affirmations can block our inner journey.”
“We were born to love ourself; we should act like it.”
“There is no sense in punishing our future for the mistakes of our past. Forgive, release, and grow.”
“In order to love who we are, we can’t hate the experiences that shaped us.”
“True love is the only attribute that double’s in our universe when given.”
“Change one thought about yourself and it changes everything for you.”
“Everyone has the inherited power to achieve self-love, to live unconditional love and to express their true self.”
“Trust yourself. Forgive yourself. Empower yourself and fully love your past, present, and future to transcend your physical body and non-physical body.”
“The power of true love is stronger than the power of fear. The true love converts all of those fears of the mind in a blink of an eye.”
“Accept the illusion of archiving self-love or true-love to be able to fully live outside the illusion of self.”
- “Do not strive with willpower for more self-love, as it will not be revealed to you. Do not strive with willpower for more acceptance, as it will not be revealed to you.”
Why it matters to categorize goals in life.
There are two ways of archiving goals in life: selfish and selfless goals. Almost all of our goals in life are selfish. Selfish goals focus 100% on ourselves and don’t stop at causing damage to others.
A lot of people still confuse selfish behavior, that hurts and manipulate others, with selfless behavior, that improves both you and others in all aspects of life in a transparent and honest way.
Destructive selfishness unfolds in impatient environments. If a person feels he has to hurt others to achieve a certain goal in life, he hurts others. This is not necessarily something people are aware of. Especially when that goal has to be reached in a certain period of time and he can’t find another solution to achieve it.
This person lives in the illusion of constructive behavior and he does everything to achieve what he wants. Such a person can also justify their behavior in a very deceitful way.
That is because our ego construct wants more of everything. More friends, more money, more power, and most importantly, more love. The root of selfish behavior is the fear of ego-insignificance
True love unites our selfish and selfless goals, and transcend them to unconditional selflessness. As true love can be mastered through parts of your self-love, self-love matters to achieve worthwhile goals.
The end of all depressions, burnouts, and panic attacks?
Negative stress (distress) can lead to many adverse health problems, including depressions, burnouts and panic attacks.
New studies nicely illustrate how mindfulness, meditations, and self-love alter the likelihood of depressions, burnouts, and panic attacks. Recently I published an article about 5 strategies that help against depressions or even suicide.
But in the first place: why did negative stress levels grow several thousand percent in the last 10 years?
Our DNA imprints and molecular structures from thousands and tens of thousands of years ago are re-activated. Because we live in a competitive era of digitalization, we force ourselves over the limit of stress, no matter what it costs.
The source of knowledge has grown exponentially over the world wide web. We seemingly know more than ever before, but at the same time, our field of tension has grown.
We read books, listen to podcasts, or attend seminars, but we can not always implement the new knowledge. Our own DNA imprints and subconscious programs hold us back.
Why Do our Thoughts Matter?
A fish asks,”What water? THERE IS NO WATER.”
A human asks, “What thought? There is no thought!”
Funnily enough, we just forgot how to use the specific parts of our body. For example, every day we use those neural connections in our brain to learn new languages and improve our physical body circumstances.
However, we rarely use those advanced neural networks to adapt our mental circumstances in our era of the internet.
The problem is, the more automated thoughts we have, the more likely we are to be victimized and affected in our mental and physical health.
In our minds, there are a lot of unprocessed experiences from the past and the future. As a result, I myself experienced heavy depressions and panic attacks over 10 years ago.
Meanwhile, I was able to transcend them by working on my unprocessed experiences and mindfulness practices. More about this in my personal story and in “How to practice self-love”.
In my opinion, activating self-love by processing and understanding past and future experiences in your life helps to transcend depressions, burnouts, or panic attacks in the most efficient way.
In general, mindfulness, self-love, and meditation practices help improve your mental and physical health immensely.
The Impact on our Environment and Relationships
Until now, we have only scratched on the surface of true love and self-love, because if you haven’t consciously experienced true love, it is impossible for you to implement it in your daily life.
Self-love has a huge impact on all of our relationships, because only when we love ourselves, are we able to love others.
For instance, it is also not possible to share 10,000 USD with a charity organization if you only have 2,000 USD on your savings account. How do you expect to love others, if you do not love yourself?
A majority of people focus on the love for their kids, family, friends, dogs, and cats, and totally forget about their own love towards themselves.
In the first place, it is great to love everyone else, if you also include yourself in that equation.
Therefore what are the skills to be mastered?
In the moments we fully forgive ourself and others, true miracles happen.
Ultimately, for an advanced love relationship, we always have full responsibility of our own life.
But taking full responsibility of our life is easy to talk about and hard to implement in our daily life. For example, most people wouldn’t admit to being 100% responsible for their health problems or the state of planet Earth.
It is easy to give away the responsibility by saying:
“All this chemical food, my job, and the global industry are the reasons behind my problem. What to do? There is nothing I can do.”
It is time to observe ourselves more than ever in history, because we live in a world of exponentially daily transformations. Therefore it is better to go with the flow and improve our level of self-love and consciousness.
You find a lot of personal stories on the internet, and all of them have their own unique purpose. Mine is meant to show the power of creating your own destiny and how to love yourself.
Since I never felt like a genius in my journey of life, it is most likely that your inner transformations are a lot quicker and that it is easier to reach your unique goals than it was for me.
My Old Self and the Power of my Past
The past will shape your destiny. Most people have heard about this nowadays, however, back in my days as a small kid, this knowledge was deeply hidden.
My mum was always very strong in convincing me: “Life should be normal,” especially later on in my puberty. “Get a job,” “Pay the bills,” “Find a girlfriend,” “Stay safe.”
Back when I was a small child, I was sure my only purpose of life is to play football. I dreamed about being a star in football from a very young age and that there is nothing else I could achieve.
My Isolated Environment
Back when I was 6-year-old, because of an incident, I couldn’t do sports for at least two more years. I felt abandoned by myself and my balance as a kid vanished because thinking began to be primary and not movements with my body as I wanted to.
Also, I grew up in a small village and football seems one of the view reasons to have fun in life for most people.
My environment was great to support my self-victimization, exactly what I manifested to experience!
I had hard times at home and with my friends, and I completely lost my self-esteem over the next nine years.
All of this were excuses by my narrowed mind. For sure it triggered something back in my childhood and I consider my childhood very hard, because when you start to think others do not love you and you continue to believe that one-sided thoughts, a lot of unhappiness is ahead.
Why does this happen to me?
I asked questions like:
- What is this life even good for?
- Does it really make sense to go on in life?
- Why is this all happening to me?
- How to love myself?
Basically, this was not a time to discover my self-love.
At the top of my self-hatred, I even wanted to kill myself as I experienced deep depressions and even panic attacks for a certain period in my life. In that period of time, I had another two injuries, and – what coincidence – they were the exact same injuries I had when I was six.
I hated myself, felt irritated by life, but there was this deep inner voice saying “Everything is good”.
My mother always told me: “Other people have it a lot worse.” Well, she tried to help, but it didn’t help a lot to come out my feelings of inner emptiness at that time.
Until the inner change began!
From the age of 22, it was also the first time I read books about self-improvement – books like Rich Dad Poor Dad or Think and Grow Rich from Napoleon Hill.
These books helped me to understand basic mind and philosophy topics. Because of that, I began to find interest in business and consciousness development, mostly backed by scientific researches back then.
Transformation: Radical Self-Love
After my first year of business experience, I started a podcast with my very good friend Matthias. As we started with our first interviews guests, Matthias told me:
“Let’s interview Jürgen; he is a good friend of mine and he has plans for his eight-day event so people can improve their quality of life. I visited one of his events over 20 years ago and it is great to improve people’s lives.”
For that reason alone, I listened with great focus to the interview of Matthias and Jürgen.
With extraordinary details and simplicity, Jürgen said the following:
“Why should a higher quality of life only be possible by going through pain? Through the exact same pain that WE experienced in our past. That doesn’t make any sense.”
He further explained:
“The development of our quality of life should bring us joy and fun! But with many methods and events that exist on the market today, we are still sent through pain, which is inefficient and discouraging.”
Do it the Easy Way
So, it clicked inside my head, “Yeah, he is right,” and his seminars caught my full interest.
Before this time, I read in several books:
“For processing the unprocessed past experience, go through the exact same pain again.”
Because of that, I was never interested in subconscious contemplation. At the same time, I was even thinking about the dangers from these subconscious, hidden topics.
But now there is this experienced, 68-year-old-German guy, I would never heard of who developed his own method for over 40 years.
Simply, it is a method that helps you individually to change your subconscious programming with scientific backgrounds at a very deep level. If you are interested in reading more about it in future articles, let me know.
Because he lived about 15 years on his ship, having adventures, his method was a total no-name, however people from back in the nineties and even earlier still remembered and loved the method. For that reason, he decided to come back, rebuilding his company and finding people to continue on the legend.
Luckily, I then had the privilege to help build it up, going to my first event in December 2016. It was a special event because we were only 6 attendants. Normally, the minimum is at least 10-15 to even start the event.
Training six people for eight days can only be done for pure passion, and the founder, Jürgen, was feeling that this seminar was very important.
Magic just Happens
So, in this week firstly, I learned one of the easiest available ways to process the unprocessed experiences from the past, going step by step back to my younger self and checking which situations in today’s life are happening because of my old belief systems. All of that in a scientific way which, amazed me.
Slowly, I understood why I had the same knee injury four times in my past. My unprocessed emotions and experiences were so strong, that I manifested it another three times after the first injury at the age of six. So, understanding this for myself the first time, I began to realize how powerful I can be, how powerful everyone can be.
Knowing that my knees are not only weak, because of my DNA and destiny. Knowing that my knees have weak points because of my own emotional states. Therefore, my unprocessed experiences created that weak points in the first place.
This Knowledge Changed Everything
What did you yourself manifest so many times in your life? Take your time and really think about it.
Secondly, I experienced a state of pure ecstasy in an extraordinary contemplation exercise on day 6. Crazily enough, that reshaped my whole self and my self-love was recovered a lot. Receiving deep life insights that were hidden in the subconscious mind and beyond, made me realize what life is all about.
Increase the quality of your own life by forgiving yourself and others. Take it easy.
Therefore, start loving yourself and others.
You can do it, too.
The State of Complete Forgiveness
However, this was just the beginning of my inner journey. One of the most surprising experiences was that after this eight-day event, my perception changed a lot.
Some people might even refer to it a “new-born” feeling.
Before, I wrote about my fights with my mum when I was younger. We always had big tensions with each other. Whether it was on the phone or visiting each other, fights were inevitable.
After my first seminar, this changed 180 degree’s. From then on, my mum could not trigger me, as she could before. So, since that time, my relationship with my mum changed a lot.
It was because I completely forgave myself and my mum for whatever we were doing to each other.
Because of these sensible changes, I invested more time than ever before in my own self-improvements, visiting over ten events of Jürgen in only two years of time.
I am happy that I was able to attend and master the complete offline seminar series of around four weeks. From that time until today, a lot of friends and I kept practicing at home all of the time.
Let’s move on to the most joyful self-love part. Before I introduce you to my tools and inspirations, let us ask ourselves if we can learn self-love. My view is that on the one hand we remember a part of self-love that has always been within us. This part is the inner light from our core of being.
On the other hand, we develop ourselves every moment and thus expand our self-love and our inner light. If we follow our activities and achieve breakthroughs in life, our self-love will expand on another level.
This is a paradox, of development and non development, of stillness and movement. In the world of paradoxes both realities exist and therefore we can look at self-love from multiple planes of our being.
You learn true self-love for yourself as soon as you no longer see yourself only as a physical body with given name and surname, but as an entity with endless potential that is currently making a joyful journey in the human body.
Although I will hardly or not at all go into this depth in the following resources, because we can only extract this depth from within ourselves, it was important to me to briefly touch on the subject.
Learning self-love paradoxically has endless levels in endless universes. It is fascinating how science gets closer and closer to the world of paradoxes and reveals new discoveries.
Info: Updates in this chapter “How to Learn Self-Love?” will be more frequently. Major updates like my meditation practices and major events will be sent via my newsletter.
Self-Love Practices to Learn Self-Love
The Power of Your Environment to Learn Self-Love
In my story and a lot of other people’s stories, it is clear, that staying inside the environment of your family, can be super challenging.
Therefore, it all depends on what your goals from heart in life are.
- Do you want to support your mum and dad from home?
- In which way do you want to support them?
- Do you already have your own family and kids to support?
I learned one truth.
When staying very close to your primary environment (before the age of six) it takes a long time to change these energy structures (habits, programs). Maybe some geniuses can do it, but honestly, I could not.
I had to leave home at the age of 19 to be able to self-improve on my own with no influence from my family.
So, you ask how to learn self-love? A wise choice could be leaving your family home behind and starting your own life journey, depending on your goals from heart in life.
The Biggest Life Changer
This can be the biggest life changer in all your lifetime.
As an example, I wouldn’t be able to move straight from my small village to Cyprus. I had to move from my hometown to another town 40 minutes away by car, and then after 3 years I decided to move 3 hours away by car.
Therefore, I was not enough under the influence of my family to lose interest pursuing my dream of living in another country.
Check Your Own Situation
- Did you move already?
- Are you still super close and see your parents every day?
Most importantly, it does not mean you do not love your family if you decide to move. From an energy point of view, you are always connected.
For example, maybe you had the experience that your mum, your dad or another important person called you, and 30 seconds before the incoming call, you had the feeling or thoughts of your mum or dad.
There are millions of examples in stories and we are all very strongly connected to our family and close friends.
This not only applies for your family. Check also your friends and see if they move in the direction you want to move in.
Do your friends inspire you and let you grow?
There is this saying:
“The 5 people you spend the most time with, influence you and your environment the most.”
Who are these five people in your closest inner circle?
Are your friends helping you to achieve your dreams?
Are your friends guiding you to learn self-love?
If one of them is totally doing the opposite, reduce the time with the friend first and check how it is going.
Some basic changes help to improve your self-love immensely.
Understanding Yourself to Learn Self-Love
Knowing your passion, strengths, and weaknesses is important to ultimately transcend your small identity and lower vehicles into your greater universal identity and higher vehicle.
“If you do not know what you love to do in life, how can you expect to love yourself?”
Mindfulness Training to Learn Self-Love
Daily mindfulness training is very powerful. Firstly, you can do simple meditation practices to observe your own thoughts, your breath, and your body and inner sensations.
It is like the fish in the water that forgot that he is in the water. You might have forgotten, most of your thoughts and because of that your thoughts, can easily victimize you.
“Measure your daily mindfulness by a lot of small actions, not only the big actions.”
Most likely, you create your own template of what is best for you after years of practicing.
I suggest starting with a ten- to twenty-minute meditation once a day and several one-minute breath meditations over the day, whenever you feel like it.
In the extra chapter, there are 3 self-love meditations.
Secondly, be thankful for what you have in life – the daily food, your health, and everything else.
If you think you want to improve your self-love, the best way is to be thankful for the state you are in at this moment of your life.
Before you are able to love yourself, you have to accept all that is, and then it is possible for you to change and move on.
Two mindfulness meditation practices:
First of all, it depends on what type of personality you are: auditory, like listening to podcasts and you are good at remembering what you hear; visual, like watching videos; and the third is kinesthesia, like touching.
In this article, I focus on auditory and visual. I would recommend you to try both and check what is working best for you.
For Auditory individuals
Just close your eyes, lie or sit somewhere, and use a simple mantra, like ah-limm-bar-dih-dim , ah-limm-baa-dih-dim. Both „bar” and „baa” should be in a good rhythm.
Why should I use a mantra?
The reason why a mantra like this to learn self-love is good from a mind perspective is that you train your automatic mind to stop being automatic, and by repeating this mantra or another one, that is intellectually meaningless, you replace the standard floating, never-ending mind.
For visual individuals
See a football before your eyes, black white normal, and let it change the colors to red and blue, then rotate the ball slowly and change again to different colors. The picture should be like a water painting, no need to have it in Ultra HD. If your mind tries to talk in between, just go back to the visualizing; same goes for the mantra. Then, change the form to something else, too—leave your mind no place to disturb.
Just do it 2 times a day for 20 minutes, wherever you can, for 3 months until you check results.
The best time might be before sleep, when there is more brain and thought activity there, and some other “intense” time of the day.
Anyway, you don’t need something special like music; you can do it anywhere at all times.
What is also good is to breathe in and out actively and observe it closely. That way, your thoughts also decrease a lot.
Techniques to Practice Self-love
Re-programming your mind
In my opinion, there are on-the-surface tools to reprogram your mind and really deep tools to reprogram your mind. Each reprogramming from heart is guiding you to learn self-love and be ultimately in harmony with your whole being.
Affirmations to Learn Self-Love
Find out everything about affirmations in the last chapter, including 12 amazing Self-Love affirmations.
Frequencies to Learn Self-Love
Sometimes, I really like to use frequencies to balance out my body, mind, and spirit again.
Then, why exactly are frequencies good for your self-love and your self-care in general? Are they really helpful?
To a certain extent, I believe it is better not to get addicted to frequencies that “fake” a higher frequency, a frequency state that you did not reach yet, because this can backfire at any point.
For example, this is similar to a deep wound that you previously had. For a wound, it also is a bad idea to only put something on the surface and hide it.
Frequencies are no different, and they can help in your current state. However, frequencies should be considered as helping stones, not as a primary self-improvement technique to heighten your basic state of consciousness.
Here are Two Frequencies that can Support Your Self-Love Learning Process
The first frequency I listen to is “The Frequency of LOVE”. For over two years, I experienced it, and it is one of the few frequencies I always enjoyed. In the bigger picture, I think it is difficult to find a very good, free, online frequency. Therefore, you have to check the style that fits for you, too.
The second frequency is a mantra. Sometimes, I can’t think of listening to something better then Ajai Alai, because it really brings you into your power.
Reading books, listening to podcasts, or watching videos
Most people like these efforts the most. You can learn about some of my favorite books in the extra chapter. Podcasts and videos can also be a very good medium through which to receive more knowledge from others, however, it does not mean that you are able to implement that in your daily life. I am in the middle of two articles about the best podcasts and YouTube personalities to follow for a higher self-love.
Professional, guided meditations with self-hypnosis
I am also planning an article about deeper guided meditations in the near future. As this is a complex topic and it is important to me that you learn it the right way, I am taking my time.
Methods like Jürgen’s. (check my story)
I will have a closer look at how it is possible for me to show step-by-step how it is working. Questions are one part of the method. Another part is a bio-feedback system. Whenever you plan to really go all out, I can’t think of a better way to transform your self-love.
I found a great alternative for “Jürgen’s” method internationally.
My Favorite System: Discover Your Strengths, Weaknesses and the Higher Purpose of Life
Gene Keys is a magical system, not a mechanical system. A path to the open countryside, which can be performed online. I highly recommend you to read my new Gene Keys article – My Deep Inner Exploration for You + Amazing Tools
Seminars and events
Dr. Joe Dispenza’s eight-day meditation retreat can help you immensely for your self-improvement and self-love.
Daily-Tip: All seminars, books, podcasts and other methods are not helping at all, if you can’t implement them in your daily life.
Efficient and quick self-love toolbox
One of the best methods, for quick self-help is Hoʻoponopono. It is a Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness.
It works super easily and can be applied anywhere. Always repeat these four sentences in your head or say them out loud, and continue until you feel relieved and calm.
“I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”
The order is very simple and powerful. “Forgiveness, Gratitude, and Loving Yourself.”
6 Self-Love Books
(Read myself) How to Win Friends & Influence People **
I love this book because it was one of my very first books to read, and if you are not familiar with it, I can highly recommend it to you. However, be careful not to read it on the surface and feel, ” Ah, exactly, that is why I am having such troubles.”
This book is also better for advanced readers in this matter.
(Read myself) Becoming Supernatural: How Common People Are Doing the Uncommon **
This is also one of my favorite books to understand more of your inner being. Dr. Joe Dispenza is a genius in a lot of ways and this book helps to improve your self-love and healing abilities.
I did not read the other books yet, however these are the books where my feelings told me: “If you plan to improve your self-love, check out these books.”
All of them seem honest and great to read. So, if you are really interested in more readings besides my blog, also check out the following four books to have a greater insight from more minds in the space of self-love.
- Unfu*k Yourself: Get Out of Your Head and into Your Life *
- The Revolution Of Self-Love: A Yearlong Journey Of Self-Love: 52 Authors, Stories, And Exercises *
- Love Yourself, Heal Your Life Workbook (Insight Guide) *
- Madly in Love with ME: The Daring Adventure of Becoming Your Own Best Friend *
3 Meditations For Self-Love
I did all of these meditations myself and loved them the most out of a lot of self-love meditations.
Michelle Chalfant has a beautiful voice to transport the true feeling of love, which is very rare to see. Therefore, I can really recommend all of the meditations of Michelle.
12 Self-Love Affirmations
The effects of affirmations are stronger when you say them out loud. Efficiency greatly improves when you use gestures, like pressing your hand on your heart when you say, “I love myself.”
It is important that all of your cells accept it deeply, because only telling it to your mind is not helping at all. Telling yourself that your body is skinny when you actually are not skinny doesn’t do the trick, either! You have to practice and master it.
Choose whatever feels right for you, or create your own affirmations. It is important to write your affirmation in the “now”. In a sense, you achieved the unachieved already. Because in your spiritual mind, there is always space to have it achieved already.
For example, if you say “I maybe love myself,” “Others love me,” or “I would like to love myself,” that doesn’t right away means, that you love yourself. That is because your mind is 100% accurate and “maybe” or “i would like to” is not a straight forward command to love yourself.
Keep it Short and Simple
It is also good to keep the affirmations short and simple. It is better to separate your “I love, accept, and trust myself” In “I love myself,” I accept myself,” and “I trust myself.”
I know some are not doing it in that way. This is just my honest opinion, because in this way, it is easier to process the different sensations and feelings behind your mentality. Therefore, your higher self and your mind know exactly what you are up to and process it instantly.
I also recommend that you change your sub-programs with specific methods. There is one big challenge with affirmations. For example, if your inner programs of “I hate myself” have too much influence and energy behind them, the affirmation “I love myself” will have little to no effect.
You have to find out where the unprocessed experience of “I hate myself” is coming from, and then you have to transform this energy structure to create space for your new creation of “I love myself”.
It is not super important to know everything right away, and I plan to explain it very clearly in extra blog articles soon.
12 basic self-love affirmations:
- I love myself.
- I accept myself.
- My heart is always helping me to understand myself very deeply.
- I trust myself.
- I understand myself and others.
- My truth knows what to do to enhance my self-love.
- My self-love is very strong.
- I understand that imperfection is a part of being a human, and it is okay.
- My true love only requires true love.
- I love the way I have created my life until this date.
- I let go of everything that blocks my self-love.
- Completely forgiving myself is easy for me.
Great ideas to trick your mind:
The challenge with affirmations, a lot of times, is that the “I hate myself” part is almost impossible to conquer. That you love yourself every day more and more is easier to implement.
First: Every day, I love myself a little bit more.
Second: Every day, in every aspect, I accept myself more.
Third: Every day, in every aspect, I forgive myself more and more.
3 Self-Love Afformations:
Also, afformations are an awesome long-term help, because they trick your mind and go deeper into your subconscious mind.
What is the difference between affirmations and afformations?
Instead of telling yourself, “I love myself, (Affirmation)” ask yourself “Why do I allow myself to love myself so much? (Afformation)” or “Why is it so easy for me to love myself.”
By asking yourself a question, your mind can not block that thought going into your subconscious mind.
First: Why do I allow myself to love myself so much?
Second: Why do I accept myself so deeply?
Third: Why do I trust myself so deeply?
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